Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Diary of cancer 8

HORRAY!!!!

The operation done smoothly!

But the damn hell nurse freaked us out.

I think every nurses and doctor should study abit on psychology, as they can use the knowledge on how to communicate with patient family and patient itself.

Try to imagine if the nurse suddenly call you and ask you faster come to hospital as doctor has very important thing to talk to you.

Just because of the style of communicating, the nurse made us cry like baby and walk like sotong ,like zombie having a motor behind to FORCE you run faster with your sotong leg.


When we arrived at the operation room, the truth we know is that doctor is smiling at us as the operation runs smoothly and would like to show us the colon tumor.

I just can say it is totally like 豬腸 and you never dare to eat Bak Kut Teh again.




Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Diary of Cancer 7

Tommorow 21/1 will be the operation day.


The intense feeling can be sense from his eyes.

He pretend to "flirt" with the nurses, but the actual feeling that hidden, who will know?

We all included my uncle visited him tonight and share the night with him


Dad, just wanna tell you , you are not alone. We all love you forever.

Before leave the ward, my mum suggest a group praying. By holding everyone hands and pray.

Wish he will over the operation and live ever after.

Diary of Cancer 6

So the problem come now.


Private --30k mininum--operation after 2 days

Government----5k----operation after 5 days


Who one you choose?

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The night before the decison is made is pretty awesome.

Your house will be as noisy as possible and many people will come your house for visiting.

What i meant is, it is good if there are some relatives and friends come for visit and encourage my dad.


However, it is not.

All i saw is a bunch of people keep introducing us what super powder or super drink, which can anti cancer, or what insurance policy to sell to my mum and me myself.

The super drink or powder, it is hell pricy!!

If you were me, will you go for those super thing?

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Diary of Cancer 5

The thing I most hate and fuxkingly hate this year is something come out from the Doctor.

Yes indeed.

My dad is diagnosed with Colon Cancer-直肠癌.--either stage 2 and stage 3 .

If it is spread out to other organ such as liver-->stage 4, it will be very hard to be cure and survival rate is only 5%.


The doctor also playing the video that he captured in my dad colon and the face of the ugly tumor.

It is fermenting.
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Before I know the news, i not even looking at my dad eyes. I keep avoid the eye contact.

It is because I know my tears will burst out once i see his eyes. The sorrow and the man who work so hard behind us, may have the chance to leave us soon and maybe very very soon.


You will no longer touch his rough and sandy hand or the food he brought to you even it is raining outside.

To be exact, the unconditioned love that he gave, will put a full stop by somehow, and nowhere.

For you all out there, try to search the last picture you took with your family, do you know the date?

It might be the last picture you took and no more next picture forever.

Diary of Cancer 4

MESSY!

is the only thing i could say.

We dont know what to do, where to go and how to do.

Since this is so unexpected case, the best way to know the truth is go check with doctor.

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When i am working and busying answering my customer call in office, suddenly my phone rang.

My heart stop pumping around 3 seconds looking at my phone.

When i am awake, i found out i have missed my mum call and my hand is holding another phone( office phone) and my customer is talking at the end and i keep silent.

I simply answer the customer questions and shut the call, which i dont know what i said to him.

I took a breath, and call back my mum.

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From the another end of the call, my tears burst out. As you will hardly see me cry. My tears is rolling in my eyes. I know i could not bear anymore. Before my tears drop and before everyone in. my office see it, i pased my phone to my manager as i need need urgently go to hospital.

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My nose turns sour and watery eyes are the thing i have when i walked down the street.

Soul-less


Diary of Cancer 3

If you do follow my second entry, 8k for the checking and 痔苍 is like hell price for us.

I left the medical center finally and headed back home, with worries and worries in our head.

We not even talk in the 1hour ride back to home.

The moment is so quiet and sombre. You can only hear the car engine sound.

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Back to home is another scenario. My mum keep asking us what doctor said like questioning criminal. Repeat and repeat again, ask and ask again and repeat ask , ask repeat ........

I understand she is extremely worry and fear. Actually human is so fragile when we fear of something, especially fear of unknown. You never know what will happen.

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A lot of advices disappear not sure from somewhere: gossips, sharing session between my mom and relativies, all aunties aunties uncle uncle and may be from the kid that playing his toy who just accientally listen our conversation about my dad 's condition.

Some suggest go to check at GH(Government Hospital) some suggest Glenagle( as if we are billionaire) and some even suggest not to check, just we think too much.

By knowing the fact that we are not talking crap and create nothing out of something, we go back to the clinic who asked us to check and he RE- recommended us to check at Tropicxna Medxical Cxnter, a new built private medical center with full equipment and facilities.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Diary of Cancer 2

Early in the morning,we went to Suxang Mxdical Cxnter as it is recommended by the clinic doctor.

If you went to Government hospital before, you will know the difference between Government hos and private hos.

The air is fresher without those weird medical smell, the nurses are prettier and friendly. The clinics are systematic, with clear stated instruction to follow. The doctor room is decorated with stickers to get rid of your pressure. Even the we have the leather seat with LCD screen continously
showing funny and happy cartoon clips. All updated and with Astro.


You will feel yourself is in the playground with other children and waiting for your turn to get Lolipop from doctor.


Compare to Government one. You just have to terbalik the situation. 你会偷笑如果你不被骂。

The doctor is late for appointment too.

Sometime i wonder why we pay for them, still have to accept this kind of lateness.

It is like, we pay for someone, to test our patience. make sense?

And the doctor read the letter, without hesitate, he asked for endoscopy testing and 顺便割痔苍。

Thats all. Then very naturally ask you to proceed to ward to do pre admission leaving me and him stunning there, with mouth opening and we started to awake when our salivia is full and dripping, wetting our shorts.


You might wondering how and what is endoscopy testing . Basically , it is just you need to stop having any fibre food or solid food before the 2 days of the testing. And continously drink the Fortrans( which will cause you continously go to toilet without your anal control) in order to clean the kolon before any tests could be performed.

Sound easy, but it is terrible.

Next, we are sent to the "hotel" department, which we are suggested to have more services for your bed room. You want it for bedded? which will share with 4 persons? or 2 bedded or Solo?

When you are happy ever choosing which teddy bear to bring for your room( ward).

The nicely decorated bill is put on your hand.

RM8k!!


Yes. I repeat again.

Only endoscopy testing and 顺便割痔苍。


Diary of Cancer 1

Everything start with just a request.

"Ah boy, can you fetch me to see doctor?" said my dad.
wit

I looked at him, scanning him from top to toe. Not believe what he said and i answered

"what doctor?where? why ?" but wait. but "why" here is "why me" instead of "why go to see doctor"

Showing my tired and annoying face, i replied him back.

He smile like begging me, and passed me a letter from doctor.

My mum jump out from somewhere, and said" he has been going to toilet more than 5 times a day, and stomach ache for months, and with blood somemore.

My eyes seemed like enlarge more than 10 times like a cat and started to worry.

As i prompted more information about it, and it seemed like just the issue of 痔疮。

I took the breath of relieve and i saw my manager is online at msn. So i told my manager for a day leave to accompany him to hospital.